Feels like an odd coincedence that Yahoo! had a featured article on thier home page about remembering your dreams and deciphering thier meanings to you, because I’ve been giving a lot more thought and attention to the details of my dreams lately, and why I’ve been seeing certain new things in mine or why I haven’t had more dreams about candid videography working so hard on blackstreetbbw.com. (I know sometimes- like maybe now- it feels like I just let it slide because I take too long to update it or clean things up, but I actually work on it or think about it a lot when I’m not doing anything else.)
The last time I slept before reading that article about the most common dream types- none of which I’ve had in a long time, I had not one, but two candid camera related dreams. Not bad, considering that I usually don’t have any, despite blackstreetbbw always at least running around in the back of my mind somewhere. That is how it works- I go places and do other things, but I’m always ready with a camera for blackstreetbbw work, even if I’m talking to or hanging with a female at the moment.
But instead of having any of those common dream types any more, now it’s like my dreams ways of working are changing. I read that the kinds of dreams people have and how they dream them out changes as they gro up and through life, but mine have changed in ways the book never said. For example, I’ve had a lot of third person dreams or dream segments, or dreams that played out like a TV show where I’m watching it but not in it, or played out in a first person perspective, but for whatever reason, it’s like unless I was having a nightmare or something in reality was influencing and controlling things, I wasn’t fully immersed. So, my firts person dreams were like first person parts of movies: no peripheral vision, I could only see my feet and hands if I looked for them, almost never saw myself in a mirror because mirrors never appeared in my dreams, and I would never, ever see my own body- and also am never immersed enough to have wet dreams, so I always wake up with clean blanket 🙂 . If you notice how your dreams are like that or not like that, I’m really curious on knowing how that is for you (NOT interested in your wet dreams though!). Then I remember about a year ago having a dream where I was standing in a very unusual place in a store… I think I was on the grocery conveyor at Walmart!… and I looked straight down at someone and saw… my own body! I woke up later, thinking of that look and the jeans I’d been wearing and I was like “I have NEVER EVER seen my own body in any first person immersion dream shot I’ve EVER had in my entire life! Wow!” Do you see your own body in your first person dreams? What about when you dream about bbw? (Again, NOT interested in your wet dreams though! …But if you want to share I won’t stop you.) And sometimes I have dreams where certain individual things turn out so crisp, those particular parts end up feeling more realistic than reality itself! No bull! For an example of that. My mind’s eye has gained an ability that it didn’t have as a kid, because I didn’t gain that ability until I dreamed it into my mind’s repertoire. I have gained the ability to see at an resolution in my dreams that is higher than anything possible in reality. I don’t mean zooming in either, where something little is made big as if I were looking at it through a microscope. No. I think the best way to describe it is like this. Go look at a wal in your house or something and look for specks. Find the tiniest little speck of detail you can see on it. Go for the smallest one, and then imagine it was actually a smiley face. I could look at a smiley face that small, too small to make out any detail of because the whole complete thing is about the size that it’s tiniest individual detail could be and still be discernable. In my dreams, I can take a speck that small and, instead of making it bigger so I can see the face, I can use the powers of my imagination to expand it without enlagring it in my mental image at all, adding the outline, color, and add the two dots and smile to it, by filling that tiny speck with the power of my mind, using the power of that to make up for any lakc of power in my ordinary ability to see and visualize. I know that sounds stupidly deep, but it’s true, and I can only do that right when I am not fully concious.
The ability to do that has led to other dream abilities for me as well. Dream abilities are cool because they are things you can do conciously with your mind or something while you are not concious, like when you stopped wetting the bed because, when you were having a dream about taking a leak, you realized you were dreaming and started getting up instead of falling for it and getting wet. I’ve gained an unconcious ability through that high resolution thing I described to have more detalied dreams. Like a video game engine, my mind can only render but so many details at once, and if more are present, I can’t see them unless I turn my eye to them, much like fog would disspear as you moved through large levels in Playstation 1 and N64 games. Well after gaining that new ability, my dreaming mnd has gotten, like, some sort of RAM boost or something, because it can suddenly keep track of a somewhat larger number of details at once now… but it doesn’t usually. What that means is this. My dreams used to all be in analog, but now it’s like my dreams are ‘digital HD where available’, so sometimes I wake up as if I’d been playing a next generation video game and thinking, “Wow. Those graphics were awesome. That level of detail was really cool.” Does that mean that since I’m in the U.S. in february ’09 all my dreams will switch to digital?
I had examples of both dreams last night. My second one that I remember was normal, and my first one was ‘digital’. Oh yeah, I forgot to mention that my other senses have gotten a boost in my dreams too, so lately some of my dreams have been much more immersive experiences. I hope that doesn’t mean I’m going to start having a bunch of wet ones and messing up my bedding! The second one was weirder, more ‘traditional’ for me, and less interesting. I’ve also forgotten a lot of the most interesting parts of it. It kept transforming into completely unrelated things, but the main part of it was that I was at walmart, and I saw a few half decent women to tape in there, but for some reason I couldn’t bring myself to tape them. It’s as if my camera itself was telling me not to. I mean, I even took too long to come on, and I had it off a lot. Also, in this dream, I spent a lot of time in strange, very clean, light blue hallways in the employee only area in the back of the store. I didn’t get into trouble though, because I didn’t run into any staff really, I saw some high ranking wal-mart official in a meeting room and backed away, and when I did run into an employee, it was because I’d wandered into the office of my crazy ex-manager at a job I once had in real life, one who didn’t even have a problem with me taping bbws at work in real life! They just asked me some questions about what I was up to and let me go back to my spacey wandering. That meeting was unexpected, and this dream got really weird really fast after that. So weird that it made no sense, and had absolutely nothing to do with candid camera.
The first dream was the good one it was about me taking some trip with a bunch of other college students (I’m not a college student, but in my dream I still was) to some great city for fun and eductaion., and we were all staying in this weird place. What made it weird was that it was not a hotel like any I’ve seen, or really like any place for staying I’ve ever been too. It was kind of like a mansion that felt like a school but ran like a museum, if that makes any sense. We were mostly students at the university I was recently banned from, so I remember in the long part of the dream that occurred before we left, that featured a lot of me videotaping shorties and having a good ammount of trouble finding a way to cut my cam on in time to do things right. What really struck me about that segment of the dream- no, the dream as a whole- was the NUMBER of bbws versus the quality. There were SO MANY fat girls, but they were almost all young black plumpers. No ssbbws, few thin girls, and almost none of the young ladies really stood out. That’s what stood out about them. Then after the trials and tribulations that are fading from my memory, but I remember were enough like ones I’ve had in real life and other dreams, those of us that were going on the trip went on it.
The lack of high quality bbws with all the black bbw college girls around wasn’t the only thing funny about the demographic makeup of this dream. It seems like I was practically the only male on radar. Some pretty weird stuff happened that had something to do with that, but I don’t remember much of that, since it was a dream and all. I remember not wanting or being able to use my camera much, and I remember something that had something to do with a restroom (I’m sure whatever it was it was weird, but I’m not 100% sure it was even worth remembering). I remember seeng a commercial for a remix/sequel/special edition of the aweful Super Mario Bros. Movie (No wait- that was in that second dream!) and I remember a lot of wandering around in the place we were staying and seeing lots of students in this dream, but my memory of it doesn’t really kick in until the plane crash. Yes, plane crash, and no, I wasn’t on the plane. I was in my room looking out the window at the really big city with short buildings (like Washington D.C. is, so maybe me wanting to go there for the inaugural had something to do with this dream.) we were in, and I saw a burning plane streaking toward the ground like a meteor! Eeeeeeeerrrrrrrrmmmmmmmm Booooommmmmmmmm! *flames go up*. I called 911, but didn’t know my address there, went outside to the shopping complex I saw it go down behind so I could call them back. I did, but I looked all over the place outside for something I could use to give my location, but I looked up and down, diagnally from sign to sign, thing to high resoultion thing, and couldn’t find anything I could use. By the time I was able to do anything, the woman on the line informed me they’d already found it and were on it, and miraculously, nobody died and nothing was burning down, so everybody could get back to thier lives. That left me wanting to use my camera, but I never could find the wreck, even though it landed nearby, and everybody was acting like nothing had happened, so I went into the huge mall to use it.
Then comes the very weird high point of all of this. If you remember from above maybe, I’d said our group was MOSTLY made up of student from the university I was banned from. The rest were students from other universities, and they arrived in small groups later on.
If you read this particular blog entry to the bottom the following will make a little more sense.
This very tall female basketball player that actually looked female walks in through the door. I’m tall, and she wasn’t so freaking tall that she had to duck the door to get in, and she looked like a younger and more attractive version of the woman I saw in real life that was about her height (I think it was about 6’9″, but I never got to asking because I wanted to talk about better things, and the dream ended too soon.), and I was immeditately attracted to her. I met up with her pretty soon later on in the dream and starting talking to her, and she was very smart and very nice and was as easy to get along with as she was tall, and she was extremely tall! My height judging ability stops working right in real life once I get to people around my height, but it looked like she was taller than me by a few inches. Not a big problem for every man, but I’m tall so… that made her really very super extremely tall. She just wasn’t very fat. Oh well. Can’t have everything. Hmm…… 6’9″ AND like 500 pounds of curves…? That might actually be too much… so it’s probably better she was thin. She also had very soft, hands that were small for her large stature. The real remarkable thing about this part of the dream was a conversation we ended up having in my room at the end of the dream. Quite honestly, I don’t remember a word of what was said- you know how dreams are- but I remember it being pretty remarkable. When I got up from that dream today I was thinking “The only way I could possibly have had a conversation with anyone in a dream that was that cool is that I must’ve gotten[really good at talking to females, and ]REALLY good at talking to myself at times when I’m alone[at the computer]! That’s the only way my brain could’ve produced a conversation for me within itself that was that surprisingly prductive and good.” I didn’t get to finish the conversation because the dream ended, and the dream ended because of what I found in my bed. No, it wasn’t a cockroach n my real live bed that woke me, but something even uglier that was in my dream bed. I think the only male almost in my dream was a roomate for me, but there was this weird, weird little woman who wanted to hang around in our room because it was so quiet. Unbeknownst to the two of us, she was in the huge bed I was sitting on. I did notice her shortly before the dream ended, when she muttered something, but that’s not how she ended the dream. She didn’t end it just then. The tall basketball player girl and I got to keep talking a little longer. The dream ended at a very inopportune time with that weird little woman popping up and telling me in an extremely rude way to shut the hell up so she could sleep- in the middle of the day- like that was her room. I got pretty mad, going from sweet to sour in a way that, through most of my life, I only did in bad situations in fast food resturants I worked at and nowhere else. I had to turn to her like- Bitch! This isn’t even your room! WTF are you doing in here anyway?! Get the fuck out! Then I literally picked her little ugly ass up out of my bed and dropped her off outside my door. I knew what I was grabbing because she had been hanging around in our room before, so the fact that that little 3-foot-something fat ugly no-shape-having, waaayy-too-old-looking-for-college, always-crazy-acting, nobody-can-understand-her thing looked, and now acted, like a troll, that’s not what woke me up! She just made me so mad that in order for this dream to end without me becoming angry in real life, it must’ve had to end! I put her outside the door, and then I wondered how the nice girl I was trying to get with would react to my exploding like that and then truning nicely back to her and trying to smile and continue what we were saying as quickly as I’d cut it off. I remember thinking that she might just have decided to leave me there alone, as the dream of that bedroom faded and gave way to my real one before I could have the answer I was afraid to find out. That dream was awesome though, and as retardedly pervertedly strangely need-to-get-a-lifely weird as it may sound, I don’t think I’m going to forget seeing her turn to look at me for the first time for a little while. I think I need to sleep alone less often, because maybe when you try to do that that can cause stuff like what I just discussed in today’s blog post.
Anyway, has anyone else thought about thier dreams in a way anyway similar to the way I talked about at the beginning of this entry? Does anybody else have any dream story or pattern that’s even remotely relevant and similar to what I was talking about up there? If so leave a comment! I want to read it!!!