Alright people. I know I promised an update on here a little while ago, so this one’s kind of late (Man, everything I do I do late), but here it is: The first of two Big Pregnant Candid Blog Updates!
You probably don’t know this yet, but once I changed cities and started making vids in Washington D.C., I found a pretty serious shortage of preggos. Then… I found one two really good ones almost two years ago (That’s a giveaway of how long the shortage got…), but my camera malfunctioned and I barely got any footage of one of them! Then fast forward to recently though and I just got another pair of really good ones! No, wait! A TRIO! I had found this really good pregnant woman I could sit and tape for a long time, but then while I was doing that this one walked in!
So what was the problem? Her exit! I made a really bad call and missed it! She tries to leave the store without buying anything, so she has to exit through a closed checkout aisle. You know how it is sometimes in a store if you just want to get out and aren’t buying anything else. She had to squeeze, and that was both a problem for her, and a show for me! The register aisles have railing between them at this particular store, and they blocked the closed aisle with a rack of merchandise, as stores often do, so there wasn’t enough room for her to move her hips through there straight-on. Not even her not-that-wide-but-wide-enough hips. Her problem was, though, that, as you can see, her belly sticks out pretty hard and far, so if she’s sideways so there’s room for her hips, then there’s not room enough for that! So she had to hoist that popping out belly OVER the railing, which she could hardly do because she was barely tall enough. So she was up on her tiptoes squeezing her stomach over that railing so she could exit the store!
And you won’t get to see any of that because I was too far away!
Why was I so far off?! I should have realized when she came in very fast (pregnant women never walk that fast! She must have had some extra spring in her or something in her step) and then she just looked real careful at one thing and then walked around in the direction of the exit, I should’ve realized she was just checking something and then going out! I think the ugly fat bitch by the registers had something to do with this. She was eyeballing me that whole time I was taping the other woman I mentioned, this one here
so something must have unconsciously told me to turn through the back of the store and meet her. She was going so fast it would be hard to follow alongside her and look natural, so, thanks to what that fat bitch did to my mind I didn’t follow along with her and took a safe route, so I was about 40 feet away and behind her when she worked her magic trick of getting out of the store. It would have been perfectly safe to tape, because I was not going to follow her out of the store, that was for sure! And why the heck would I have needed to when I’d already gotten the best pregnant shot in the country? There’d have been no need, so I’d’ve just gone back to the other big one I just pictured above. And following this popping young pregnant girl would have put me right at my favorite food-grabbing aisle in the store, so I could’ve grabbed my usual stuff and made my usual exit. Instead, I made the wrong call and missed the shot of a lifetime. At least I got her on camera, so she didn’t get away completely! She didn’t get away. She just got away.